I grew up with two good friends
One who wears brown and another who wears black.
I call them my brown and black brothers.
Alas, they have become very evil
And they are going all out
To destroy me and my family.
They are most evil when
They proclaim themselves as Jedi Knights.
They corrupted the Jedi Knights' true teachings
And transformed the Jedi Way
Into the Way Of The Dark Side.
The more they dress up in the Jedi's robes,
The more evil they become.
For they have defiled the house of the Jedi
By killing off the true Jedi
To whom they once served faithfully.
Thus worshipping at the temple
Of the Jedi
Dressed in Jedi robes
Makes one dirty
Instead of pure and clean.
The three of us also have a friend
Called the man in white.
He is the smartest of us all
And has a thousand and one inventions
Which the great-great grandparents
Of the men in black and brown,
As well as my ancestors taught him.
But he is snobbish and looks down
On the men in black and brown,
The shit and scum of our small vilage.
He has invented a machine
Which minces things up
And restores them
Into new and better stuff.
I am going to see him
And tell him to capture
My brown and black ex-neighbours,
And throw them into that machine.
And I am going to make him burn
The Jedi temple down,
And rebuild it with his technology.
For he has the true books of the Jedi
And the true teachings of the Jedi
In his lab.
Once he minces my devilish friends
And restores them to the true ways
Of their great-great grandpas,
I will forgive them.
And the man in white and I
Will make our wills which state
That the families
Of the men in brown and black
Will be the main beneficiaries
Of the bountiful harvests we reap
In the years to come.
